One of the Admins at work today asked me what I was doing for the weekend and I was all 'Oh, I have rehearsal and will probably work on cleaning my apartment some more," and one of the lawyers who overheard snarked, "How dirty is your apartment that it takes multiple days to clean?"
I blinks and said, "Well, I have a lot of stuff." He then said, "You mean you have a lot of JUNK!"
That pissed me off. For pretty much the whole day. He tried to backpedal some when I responded in a somewhat grumpy manner that I had a lot of clothes but he didn't succeed in mollifying me.
Who the Hell is he to judge me? He has no idea who I am or what I've been through or what this process means to me! How hard this is! How DARE he say that my apartment is full of JUNK!
Friday, May 29, 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
I've finished the book.
Finally.
I actually want to read it again now that I've read it through once and have used some of the methods already. Then I'll lend it to my friend.
I actually really liked the last bit of the book...I'm trying to find what stuck out at me but there was quite a bit, actually. I think, though, it really was the section titled Your Possessions Want To Help You
Here it is: "Everything you own wants to be of use to you. Even if you throw it away or burn it, it will only leave behind the energy of wanting to be of service. Freed from its physical form, it will move about your world as energy, letting other things know that you are a special person, and come back to you as the thing that will be of most use to who you are now, the thing that will bring you the most happiness."
To be honest, when I read this section even now, I start to cry. Maybe it's because it's written so well or maybe because it's the idea that the things I get rid of never really leave - even though I'm getting rid of the physical item, its soul, if you will, remains and wants me to find happiness with its energy as it enters something else that will enter my life and make me happy. I'm crying even now and I'm not even too sure why.
I was looking at getting rid of some of my items as 'Now THEY will be happy, being played with/being worn/being used when I was just neglecting them' but this is saying that they will be free to release their energy to bring -me- happiness. Maybe that's selfish and maybe that's why I'm crying...or maybe I've been so unhappy for so long that the idea that doing this -- that the silly act of tidying -- could actually bring me happiness. It's not happiness because my living space is clean, necessarily, but because I've released the items who just want to help me and their energies will come back to me because they have always wanted to and always will want to help me.
There's something so generous about that and I think it makes me feel very selfish that I've held onto them for so long...and I've held onto so many things that just wanted to be set free. For me.
Not that I think I can just throw away perfectly good clothes or items because I still need to know that they won't be going into a landfill somewhere but...I don't know if this makes things easier or harder.
I'm not sure that I'll be able to look at my things the same way now. Maybe that's the real magic of this book. It's not that it tells you that your superfluous items are inanimate and getting rid of them should mean nothing...or that if they're not doing you any good, they will surely do someone else good. It's that, and this is my interpretation, your items made you happy once and they will continue to do so, whether or not they are in your possession. But when you set them free from your possession, you free their spirit which will then return to you through another form/item of happiness. So, in tidying and clearing your space of excess items that no longer bring you joy, you are in turn, bringing this positive, happy energy back into your life.
But now I think I feel sad because the items no longer bring me joy. I'm also torn though because I know that they can bring someone else joy if I give them that opportunity. So does it become a Win-Win situation? They get a new life and I get positive energy?
I actually want to read it again now that I've read it through once and have used some of the methods already. Then I'll lend it to my friend.
I actually really liked the last bit of the book...I'm trying to find what stuck out at me but there was quite a bit, actually. I think, though, it really was the section titled Your Possessions Want To Help You
Here it is: "Everything you own wants to be of use to you. Even if you throw it away or burn it, it will only leave behind the energy of wanting to be of service. Freed from its physical form, it will move about your world as energy, letting other things know that you are a special person, and come back to you as the thing that will be of most use to who you are now, the thing that will bring you the most happiness."
To be honest, when I read this section even now, I start to cry. Maybe it's because it's written so well or maybe because it's the idea that the things I get rid of never really leave - even though I'm getting rid of the physical item, its soul, if you will, remains and wants me to find happiness with its energy as it enters something else that will enter my life and make me happy. I'm crying even now and I'm not even too sure why.
I was looking at getting rid of some of my items as 'Now THEY will be happy, being played with/being worn/being used when I was just neglecting them' but this is saying that they will be free to release their energy to bring -me- happiness. Maybe that's selfish and maybe that's why I'm crying...or maybe I've been so unhappy for so long that the idea that doing this -- that the silly act of tidying -- could actually bring me happiness. It's not happiness because my living space is clean, necessarily, but because I've released the items who just want to help me and their energies will come back to me because they have always wanted to and always will want to help me.
There's something so generous about that and I think it makes me feel very selfish that I've held onto them for so long...and I've held onto so many things that just wanted to be set free. For me.
Not that I think I can just throw away perfectly good clothes or items because I still need to know that they won't be going into a landfill somewhere but...I don't know if this makes things easier or harder.
I'm not sure that I'll be able to look at my things the same way now. Maybe that's the real magic of this book. It's not that it tells you that your superfluous items are inanimate and getting rid of them should mean nothing...or that if they're not doing you any good, they will surely do someone else good. It's that, and this is my interpretation, your items made you happy once and they will continue to do so, whether or not they are in your possession. But when you set them free from your possession, you free their spirit which will then return to you through another form/item of happiness. So, in tidying and clearing your space of excess items that no longer bring you joy, you are in turn, bringing this positive, happy energy back into your life.
But now I think I feel sad because the items no longer bring me joy. I'm also torn though because I know that they can bring someone else joy if I give them that opportunity. So does it become a Win-Win situation? They get a new life and I get positive energy?
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Definitions of 'Tidy'
I brought a friend in to look at the kitchen this past weekend and he, who had seen it before, just looked around and said 'Whoa!' I told him that I needed to toss a few more boxes into recycling and move a couple more things, but he was all 'This looks amazing!'. Sure, there's a box of VHS tapes to get rid of in a corner and a bin of stuff that I just am not dealing with at the moment that needs to be move to the attic, but otherwise, I feel like it looks really good.
But will it be good enough for the crazy landlady? What is tidy enough yet still reasonably 'lived in'?
I remember the few times I would clean my room and show my mom/sisters, either when we were at home or through pictures and their responses were 'That's a great start!'. I would just deflate because I spent time and energy getting it to where I felt it was 'tidy' and here they were saying that it wasn't good enough.
So now I'm looking at my kitchen and bedroom, which I think look fantastic (I need to move some bags of clothes/trash) and the thought creeps into my head: What if it's not good enough?
I guess, when it comes down to it, if the Landlady wants me out, she wants me out, even though she said that if the place was clean, she'd renew the lease for another year. I guess if she ends up lying, I have legals folks on my side but it would still mean I'd have to move. Then, was all of this worth it? I'll still have to pack up everything, move everything, and unpack. Again. But I won't know if it's 'good enough' until she comes to inspect. It's like I'm putting so much into her crazy hands and I don't want her to have that much power.
It also means I'm hesitant to send pictures to my family about how nice my place looks now. Because they haven't seen me work for two weeks on two rooms. They haven't seen me folding clothes and trying to figure out the best way to make things fit. They haven't seen me come home and actually put things away instead of the easier route of tossing them onto another surface to deal with later. I just don't want to hear 'That's a good start'.
I've been timing myself when I get home to see just how long it takes for me to do things that I used to put off. For example, even if I don't want to clean the litter boxes when I get home, it truly takes only a minute and a half to do so. It takes me about 30 seconds to fold/hang/put away the clothes I wore that day. So that's 2 minutes I've spent putting things where they belong. I think I can handle that.
I'm still trying to decide what to do with the clothes I want to donate. Maybe I'm blowing this up bigger than I need to. It's not that much right now -- I still have jackets to go through, but most of them are in really good condition and I may donate some of the winter coats to the coat drives this winter (they're all hanging in a closet). The vintage ones I may try to sell online or consign. So I think the Clothes category is almost finished as well as my bedroom.
Next will probably be the 'Dining'/Music room since it's probably going to be fairly easy. I do have a lot of boxes that I started to pack, but I think they're going to stay there. The Landlady knew I started to pack and if she doesn't like boxes on vacuumed carpets...well...whatever. Some other boxes do need to be gone through and items dealt with. The Living Room and Guest Room may be the hardest since they have the most 'Random' stuff. But I think it I'm methodical about going through things and picking and choosing what stays, I should have some success.
I just hope that it's all more than just 'A Good Start'.
But will it be good enough for the crazy landlady? What is tidy enough yet still reasonably 'lived in'?
I remember the few times I would clean my room and show my mom/sisters, either when we were at home or through pictures and their responses were 'That's a great start!'. I would just deflate because I spent time and energy getting it to where I felt it was 'tidy' and here they were saying that it wasn't good enough.
So now I'm looking at my kitchen and bedroom, which I think look fantastic (I need to move some bags of clothes/trash) and the thought creeps into my head: What if it's not good enough?
I guess, when it comes down to it, if the Landlady wants me out, she wants me out, even though she said that if the place was clean, she'd renew the lease for another year. I guess if she ends up lying, I have legals folks on my side but it would still mean I'd have to move. Then, was all of this worth it? I'll still have to pack up everything, move everything, and unpack. Again. But I won't know if it's 'good enough' until she comes to inspect. It's like I'm putting so much into her crazy hands and I don't want her to have that much power.
It also means I'm hesitant to send pictures to my family about how nice my place looks now. Because they haven't seen me work for two weeks on two rooms. They haven't seen me folding clothes and trying to figure out the best way to make things fit. They haven't seen me come home and actually put things away instead of the easier route of tossing them onto another surface to deal with later. I just don't want to hear 'That's a good start'.
I've been timing myself when I get home to see just how long it takes for me to do things that I used to put off. For example, even if I don't want to clean the litter boxes when I get home, it truly takes only a minute and a half to do so. It takes me about 30 seconds to fold/hang/put away the clothes I wore that day. So that's 2 minutes I've spent putting things where they belong. I think I can handle that.
I'm still trying to decide what to do with the clothes I want to donate. Maybe I'm blowing this up bigger than I need to. It's not that much right now -- I still have jackets to go through, but most of them are in really good condition and I may donate some of the winter coats to the coat drives this winter (they're all hanging in a closet). The vintage ones I may try to sell online or consign. So I think the Clothes category is almost finished as well as my bedroom.
Next will probably be the 'Dining'/Music room since it's probably going to be fairly easy. I do have a lot of boxes that I started to pack, but I think they're going to stay there. The Landlady knew I started to pack and if she doesn't like boxes on vacuumed carpets...well...whatever. Some other boxes do need to be gone through and items dealt with. The Living Room and Guest Room may be the hardest since they have the most 'Random' stuff. But I think it I'm methodical about going through things and picking and choosing what stays, I should have some success.
I just hope that it's all more than just 'A Good Start'.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Does Konmari Method=Heartlessness?
I had another post ready, but this has come up this morning and I think I want to address it here.
On one of the Facebook Konmari groups I'm in, there have been a couple of posts today that deeply disturbed me.
The first and most disturbing one was one lady wanting to 'Konmari' her pet rabbits. I didn't follow up with the thread as it, frankly, offended me and I'm glad that the one comment I saw was someone else saying 'Look...pets are for their lifespan. They aren't things you can just donate and recycle' or something along those lines. I really hope the lady realized what she was even saying and I hope most of the people agreed that you can't just get rid of pets.
Look, my cats piss me off sometimes too. And they can be really annoying but I still love them to bits and would never, EVER think of getting rid of them! I'm in it for as long as they are and that's part of being a pet owner. These are not old socks or that suit jacket from the 80's that's been hanging in your closet for the last 30 years. They aren't decorative items and the fact that someone even thought, if only for a moment, that she could get rid of the family pet and have people agree with her infuriates me to no end.
I'm still debating if I want to stay in that group after that comment came up. It's been bad enough with some of the more 'holier than thou' and judgement-filled posts that have been going in there but this may be close to the last straw. It infuriates me whenever I hear of people thinking that pets are things that can just be given up. Maybe I'm an extremist, but my pets are staying with me, period.
The other post that disturbed me, I've had some time to think about. While I don't agree with the choice, nor can I fathom why anyone would want to get rid of what she wants to get rid of, it's not my call to make. It's not a living, breathing, loving creature so in the end, it's her call. I just couldn't do what she is seeking to do. Even considering even attempting giving these things up causes me to tear up. But you know what? I don't have to give them up! Mine give me joy so they're going to stay with me.
So, that's my blog post for today. I really don't care what people decide to 'Konmari' as long as they are not 'Konmari-ing' family pets who love them and rely on them. I can't imagine a method...or that this method...would advocate something like that. Maybe some people can let go of items easier than I can, but I cannot imagine that this method is asking for their users to become heartless, unfeeling creatures who don't understand the value of a beloved pet who relies on their human for their quality of life.
On one of the Facebook Konmari groups I'm in, there have been a couple of posts today that deeply disturbed me.
The first and most disturbing one was one lady wanting to 'Konmari' her pet rabbits. I didn't follow up with the thread as it, frankly, offended me and I'm glad that the one comment I saw was someone else saying 'Look...pets are for their lifespan. They aren't things you can just donate and recycle' or something along those lines. I really hope the lady realized what she was even saying and I hope most of the people agreed that you can't just get rid of pets.
Look, my cats piss me off sometimes too. And they can be really annoying but I still love them to bits and would never, EVER think of getting rid of them! I'm in it for as long as they are and that's part of being a pet owner. These are not old socks or that suit jacket from the 80's that's been hanging in your closet for the last 30 years. They aren't decorative items and the fact that someone even thought, if only for a moment, that she could get rid of the family pet and have people agree with her infuriates me to no end.
I'm still debating if I want to stay in that group after that comment came up. It's been bad enough with some of the more 'holier than thou' and judgement-filled posts that have been going in there but this may be close to the last straw. It infuriates me whenever I hear of people thinking that pets are things that can just be given up. Maybe I'm an extremist, but my pets are staying with me, period.
The other post that disturbed me, I've had some time to think about. While I don't agree with the choice, nor can I fathom why anyone would want to get rid of what she wants to get rid of, it's not my call to make. It's not a living, breathing, loving creature so in the end, it's her call. I just couldn't do what she is seeking to do. Even considering even attempting giving these things up causes me to tear up. But you know what? I don't have to give them up! Mine give me joy so they're going to stay with me.
So, that's my blog post for today. I really don't care what people decide to 'Konmari' as long as they are not 'Konmari-ing' family pets who love them and rely on them. I can't imagine a method...or that this method...would advocate something like that. Maybe some people can let go of items easier than I can, but I cannot imagine that this method is asking for their users to become heartless, unfeeling creatures who don't understand the value of a beloved pet who relies on their human for their quality of life.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Shopping with my Mom
My mom and I have a lot of fun shopping together. We both love going to consignment shops and little boutiques over bigger department shops/mall stores. However, she also encourages me to buy things that I don't really need because they're cute, they're inexpensive, or...whatever reason. And I do buy them. So I have all this stuff that I'm sort of 'ok' about, but because I've purchased this on a shopping trip with my mom, they have sentimental value. So I may have to be either firmer with my mom on these potential shopping trips or just...I dunno. Not buy things.
What do other people do about this sort of things? Items acquired while spending time with friends/loved one? I'm trying to get better about only buying things that I REALLY, REALLY want - for example, today I found a mint-condition, illustrated copy of Howard Pyle's 'The Adventures of Robin Hood' for $5. I am a huge Robin Hood fan and I don't think I read this one...or if I did, it wasn't the illustrated version. And for $5 it had to be mine. I love it!
Unlike the very lovely, but totally not me zippered cardigan that we bought from a consignment shop in Michigan. It's lovely, but I always struggle to figure out how/when to wear it, so I think I'd rather consign it so someone else who might love it can have it and wear it.
I spent another 2 hours working on my room and it's almost there! I got rid of 2 bags of underwear that was just worn and I might...MIGHT be able to get rid of/move one of my plastic drawer sets! Hooray!! I still have a bunch of laundry though and I'm not entirely sure what to do with what need to be put away, but I think I can make room. Or, once I'm sure that I can stay for another year, I can then go through things again. Maybe. I now have two and a half grocery bags of clothes to consign. I still have to work on the top of my bureau, but that's not 'clothes', now is it? :)
What do other people do about this sort of things? Items acquired while spending time with friends/loved one? I'm trying to get better about only buying things that I REALLY, REALLY want - for example, today I found a mint-condition, illustrated copy of Howard Pyle's 'The Adventures of Robin Hood' for $5. I am a huge Robin Hood fan and I don't think I read this one...or if I did, it wasn't the illustrated version. And for $5 it had to be mine. I love it!
Unlike the very lovely, but totally not me zippered cardigan that we bought from a consignment shop in Michigan. It's lovely, but I always struggle to figure out how/when to wear it, so I think I'd rather consign it so someone else who might love it can have it and wear it.
I spent another 2 hours working on my room and it's almost there! I got rid of 2 bags of underwear that was just worn and I might...MIGHT be able to get rid of/move one of my plastic drawer sets! Hooray!! I still have a bunch of laundry though and I'm not entirely sure what to do with what need to be put away, but I think I can make room. Or, once I'm sure that I can stay for another year, I can then go through things again. Maybe. I now have two and a half grocery bags of clothes to consign. I still have to work on the top of my bureau, but that's not 'clothes', now is it? :)
Sunday, May 24, 2015
The only one who can Congratulate me is ME
I spent almost 4 hours working on my room yesterday. It's better. Two grocery bags are filled with clothes for consignment. I managed to cull down one of my hanging sweater cubbies, the one that was broken, to two instead of three...and I still have a little space left thanks to some Konmari folding. Laundry load #4 is in the wash and two loads are put away. The pajama drawers are in order and I'm working on the sock drawer. I still have a few piles of clothes but I still have a little room in drawers.
I want to call someone and get some kudos for putting so much work into this. But last time I called my mom, I got a lecture. My sisters are still being patronizing about this and siding with the Landlady and saying 'It's a Good Thing'. So I guess the only one who can congratulate myself is me. I'm incredibly proud of the work I put in even if it doesn't look like I did all that much from the outside.
I didn't have all that much time today. I had about an hour or so between get-togethers so I continued to work on my room. My drawers are almost full and I have a full laundry bag...again. Hmm. This could be an issue. I may have to go through things again, but I don't want to cull things just to cull them even if I still love them. I may be able to remove some of the zillions of pairs of black tights that I have, but I do wear them a lot in the Winter. I guess I could check and get rid of the ones that look ratty. Otherwise, I'm not entirely sure where to put things. I suppose I could move the work out clothes to the open hanging shelf that isn't really being used right now except to hold a purse or two. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Pictures to come.
But there is real progress in my room now. I'm kind of excited. I just need to find a place for everything although so far I've been able to maintain my kitchen's neatness for the last week-ish, so maybe this is actually possible! A friend came over and I proudly showed him the kitchen and his response was what I was looking for! He was all 'Whoa! This looks amazing!' and he even thought I did work in the 'dining'/music room...nope, just packed up some scores. I may keep them packed and keep the boxes there even for the Landlady's inspection. I also showed him the Konmari method of folding for t-shirts and how awesome my drawers looked and he wants to borrow the book when I'm done.
I started thinking ahead towards books and I'm not sure that I have too many that I want to get rid of as I've culled every time I've moved. I really don't have TOO many books for someone who loves to read. I've been trying to stay with getting things from the Library. I do wonder though, if going through my notebooks with sheet music counts as 'books' or as 'paper'? I think I'll ask online in one of the groups.
I want to call someone and get some kudos for putting so much work into this. But last time I called my mom, I got a lecture. My sisters are still being patronizing about this and siding with the Landlady and saying 'It's a Good Thing'. So I guess the only one who can congratulate myself is me. I'm incredibly proud of the work I put in even if it doesn't look like I did all that much from the outside.
I didn't have all that much time today. I had about an hour or so between get-togethers so I continued to work on my room. My drawers are almost full and I have a full laundry bag...again. Hmm. This could be an issue. I may have to go through things again, but I don't want to cull things just to cull them even if I still love them. I may be able to remove some of the zillions of pairs of black tights that I have, but I do wear them a lot in the Winter. I guess I could check and get rid of the ones that look ratty. Otherwise, I'm not entirely sure where to put things. I suppose I could move the work out clothes to the open hanging shelf that isn't really being used right now except to hold a purse or two. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Pictures to come.
But there is real progress in my room now. I'm kind of excited. I just need to find a place for everything although so far I've been able to maintain my kitchen's neatness for the last week-ish, so maybe this is actually possible! A friend came over and I proudly showed him the kitchen and his response was what I was looking for! He was all 'Whoa! This looks amazing!' and he even thought I did work in the 'dining'/music room...nope, just packed up some scores. I may keep them packed and keep the boxes there even for the Landlady's inspection. I also showed him the Konmari method of folding for t-shirts and how awesome my drawers looked and he wants to borrow the book when I'm done.
I started thinking ahead towards books and I'm not sure that I have too many that I want to get rid of as I've culled every time I've moved. I really don't have TOO many books for someone who loves to read. I've been trying to stay with getting things from the Library. I do wonder though, if going through my notebooks with sheet music counts as 'books' or as 'paper'? I think I'll ask online in one of the groups.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
All Magic comes with a price...?
Ok, so I really am trying to do this Konmari thing. Truly! Sort of. I mean, I can't necessarily do everything that she's telling us to do, like put all the clothes in the middle of the room and physically touch it all and put it away/toss/etc.
First of all, I just don't have that much time.
Secondly, I know how much clothes I have and that's just plain intimidating.
Thirdly, see number two - if I'm intimidated, I'll freeze.
So I'm doing this drawer by drawer, closet by closet, and pile by pile. Last night, I took an hour and Konmari'd (it's a verb now!) the rest of the drawers in my big dresser that I hadn't gotten to yet.
Her folding really IS magic!
I didn't get rid of that much yet I still have a drawer and a half empty -- A DRAWER AND A HALF! In a dresser where everything was flopping out and overstuffed. HOW? I honestly don't know...it's just plain MAGIC!!
I even went through my closet and pulled a dozen items that I felt I could get rid of. I need to separate the 'donate' from the 'consign' because I think I might be able to do both...if I ever get my butt in gear to do it. I guess it's all well and good to separate things out but if the bags are still around, what good has it done? They're still there taking up space!
Today I'm going to try and work on my bedroom some more. I have some laundry to do and then those clothes to sort/put away, but I also have piles of clothes on overstuffed, plastic drawers. If I can actually cull those drawers down to 2 instead of 3...or better yet, even 1, I think I'd be very happy.
Right now though I'm sitting in my living room and looking at its messiness...sure, a lot of it is stuff to be tossed, but a lot is stuff that I'm not too sure where to put it. I know I have to go through things and everything and while I can appreciate the categorization of things, I'm not entirely sure that it's going to work for my style. So I'm trying to go room by room and if something doesn't belong, I'll move it.
Wish me luck!
First of all, I just don't have that much time.
Secondly, I know how much clothes I have and that's just plain intimidating.
Thirdly, see number two - if I'm intimidated, I'll freeze.
So I'm doing this drawer by drawer, closet by closet, and pile by pile. Last night, I took an hour and Konmari'd (it's a verb now!) the rest of the drawers in my big dresser that I hadn't gotten to yet.
Her folding really IS magic!
I didn't get rid of that much yet I still have a drawer and a half empty -- A DRAWER AND A HALF! In a dresser where everything was flopping out and overstuffed. HOW? I honestly don't know...it's just plain MAGIC!!
I even went through my closet and pulled a dozen items that I felt I could get rid of. I need to separate the 'donate' from the 'consign' because I think I might be able to do both...if I ever get my butt in gear to do it. I guess it's all well and good to separate things out but if the bags are still around, what good has it done? They're still there taking up space!
Today I'm going to try and work on my bedroom some more. I have some laundry to do and then those clothes to sort/put away, but I also have piles of clothes on overstuffed, plastic drawers. If I can actually cull those drawers down to 2 instead of 3...or better yet, even 1, I think I'd be very happy.
Right now though I'm sitting in my living room and looking at its messiness...sure, a lot of it is stuff to be tossed, but a lot is stuff that I'm not too sure where to put it. I know I have to go through things and everything and while I can appreciate the categorization of things, I'm not entirely sure that it's going to work for my style. So I'm trying to go room by room and if something doesn't belong, I'll move it.
Wish me luck!
Friday, May 22, 2015
I don't hate you because you're messy...you're messy because I hate you.
So, I had a little musing tonight. Maybe not an epiphany. I had a conversation over Facebook Chat with my sister that went like this:
Me: Oh, you didn't hear? The Landlady said my apartment is too messy so if I clean it up and she inspects and deems it ok, she'll give me another year's lease
Sister: Well that is incentive.
Me: It is
Sister: Maybe hire someone to come 1x a month
Me: She also said my apartment smelled, but I had 4 people assure me that it did not.
Sister: How did she know it was messy?
Me: No...I need to tidy up more first.
Sister: Wow Yeah you need to have someone clean for you that is not good
Me: It's not smelly
Sister: I would still get someone
Me: I can't afford anything like that right now. And it doesn't matter because I need to pick things up off the floor first
Sister: Yes , so she was kicking you out because of the mess? How did she know?
Me: She had to go up once when the bathroom flooded
Sister: Were you home?
Me: She's giving me until August to clean it up but she has to inspect it. I was home when it flooded, but wasn't home when the insurance guys came up to put the dehumidifers and industrial fans out.
Sister: Wow! Well get it done! Beats moving. Ok
Me: I know. But I also don't want to live with a controlling landlady either
Sister: That's not controlling , she doesn't want someone who is super messy, I can totally see that. I wouldn't either. I am sure that is all she cares about
Me: She's controlling if she thinks she can inspect the apartment at any time. I'll let her do it once a year but that's it. Otherwise, it's a breach of my lease
Sister: Understandable she can't go in at anytime. She has to notify you first. But I am sure she wants a tenant who is not super messy. This is a good thing for you
Me: Yeah. I love being stressed out.
Sister: Well once you get it clean then just keep it clean that is all, just a lifestyle change like adding in running. Once you do it more it won't be so stressful
Me: I don't have time to be cleaning for 2 hours every night
Sister: You don't have to do that once it is clean. Just clean once a week, and tidy after yourself
Me: Cleaning takes that much time.
Sister: Well from where you are at now it does. Once it is clean it won't take that long just a half day 1 x a week
Me: I'm tired of being lectured. Thank you for your advice and I'll take it into consideration. I don't have half a day. Ever.
Sister: I'm not lecturing you. I am telling you that cleaning does not take as long as you think. Well if you want to stay there you will have to make the time to clean, it is your choice , but she is not abnormal for wanting a renter who is not super messy
I kind of hate being patronized. I HATE it. And I've been getting this from my family for a while now...ok, so pretty much my entire life. I hate it when people try to tell me what to do - not in a helpful way, but in a controlling way. My defenses get right up. I'm also incredibly stubborn and the thought came to me that I might be rebelling against their insistence that I be neat and tidy. Like them. Like everyone else. So have I developed this mindset that I'm messy, in part, to thwart them? To be different? To be my own person and no one can tell me what to do?
That's sort of on my mind right now. That and looking at the pictures people are posting of their 'Kon Mari'd' homes and seeing how empty they look - like no one lives there. Like it's a show room. No personal items, no decor. I know that my place will never look like that because I don't like that empty, sparse aesthetic. Do I need to have piles of clothes around my room? Probably not. My room can looked decorated and lived-in without the clothes, I'm sure.
I worked some more on the kitchen. It's very close to being 'done', aside from washing the floors. I have some boxes to go to recycling and some boxes to go in the attic (In case I have to move...I don't want to have to collect them again) and a couple more things to move. I have a box of VHS tapes to be donated and some towels to wash. But I think that's it. Will it be good enough for the Landlady? I don't know, but I don't know how to make it tidier without removing everything from the room which...what's the point in that?
Since I haven't had much time to do the whole 'All your clothes in a pile' thing like the book suggests, I've been sort of going drawer by drawer. I started on my large bureau which is overflowing with clothes and the drawers can't close because of it. One drawer down and the folding method is magical. MAGICAL, I tell you! That drawer was overflowing with clothes no matter what I did and I folded them (and put a couple of things in the donation box) and there's room to spare! I kind of didn't want to stop but I had to because I had work this morning.
But I'm still thinking about this...thought. Is it going to hurt to pare things down? Even if I pare things down and still have a lot of stuff, is that going to be some sort of detriment? There's no way I can pare myself down to the point that I have the 'bare minimum'...I'm a performer and need concert clothes. I like mixing/matching my outfits. I like art and tchotchkies. I like my books. I like my yarn. I also don't want to get rid of things to get rid of them and then go looking for them a month or two from now. For me, it's not about getting rid of the most stuff. What if I just can't find a way to make things tidy?
I also don't want my family to be all 'Now, that wasn't so hard' and 'Now you just have to keep it like this all the time'. To me, that's patronizing and instantly rankles. I've tried talking to them about it, but I'm always in the wrong when it comes to trying to tell them that my feelings might be hurt by their words. I love them dearly, but of anyone, they can hurt me the most by just a few simple words. How can I talk to them about this and tell them that I appreciate their support but I don't want their 'Holier than thou' and 'I told you so' attitude?
Me: Oh, you didn't hear? The Landlady said my apartment is too messy so if I clean it up and she inspects and deems it ok, she'll give me another year's lease
Sister: Well that is incentive.
Me: It is
Sister: Maybe hire someone to come 1x a month
Me: She also said my apartment smelled, but I had 4 people assure me that it did not.
Sister: How did she know it was messy?
Me: No...I need to tidy up more first.
Sister: Wow Yeah you need to have someone clean for you that is not good
Me: It's not smelly
Sister: I would still get someone
Me: I can't afford anything like that right now. And it doesn't matter because I need to pick things up off the floor first
Sister: Yes , so she was kicking you out because of the mess? How did she know?
Me: She had to go up once when the bathroom flooded
Sister: Were you home?
Me: She's giving me until August to clean it up but she has to inspect it. I was home when it flooded, but wasn't home when the insurance guys came up to put the dehumidifers and industrial fans out.
Sister: Wow! Well get it done! Beats moving. Ok
Me: I know. But I also don't want to live with a controlling landlady either
Sister: That's not controlling , she doesn't want someone who is super messy, I can totally see that. I wouldn't either. I am sure that is all she cares about
Me: She's controlling if she thinks she can inspect the apartment at any time. I'll let her do it once a year but that's it. Otherwise, it's a breach of my lease
Sister: Understandable she can't go in at anytime. She has to notify you first. But I am sure she wants a tenant who is not super messy. This is a good thing for you
Me: Yeah. I love being stressed out.
Sister: Well once you get it clean then just keep it clean that is all, just a lifestyle change like adding in running. Once you do it more it won't be so stressful
Me: I don't have time to be cleaning for 2 hours every night
Sister: You don't have to do that once it is clean. Just clean once a week, and tidy after yourself
Me: Cleaning takes that much time.
Sister: Well from where you are at now it does. Once it is clean it won't take that long just a half day 1 x a week
Me: I'm tired of being lectured. Thank you for your advice and I'll take it into consideration. I don't have half a day. Ever.
Sister: I'm not lecturing you. I am telling you that cleaning does not take as long as you think. Well if you want to stay there you will have to make the time to clean, it is your choice , but she is not abnormal for wanting a renter who is not super messy
I kind of hate being patronized. I HATE it. And I've been getting this from my family for a while now...ok, so pretty much my entire life. I hate it when people try to tell me what to do - not in a helpful way, but in a controlling way. My defenses get right up. I'm also incredibly stubborn and the thought came to me that I might be rebelling against their insistence that I be neat and tidy. Like them. Like everyone else. So have I developed this mindset that I'm messy, in part, to thwart them? To be different? To be my own person and no one can tell me what to do?
That's sort of on my mind right now. That and looking at the pictures people are posting of their 'Kon Mari'd' homes and seeing how empty they look - like no one lives there. Like it's a show room. No personal items, no decor. I know that my place will never look like that because I don't like that empty, sparse aesthetic. Do I need to have piles of clothes around my room? Probably not. My room can looked decorated and lived-in without the clothes, I'm sure.
I worked some more on the kitchen. It's very close to being 'done', aside from washing the floors. I have some boxes to go to recycling and some boxes to go in the attic (In case I have to move...I don't want to have to collect them again) and a couple more things to move. I have a box of VHS tapes to be donated and some towels to wash. But I think that's it. Will it be good enough for the Landlady? I don't know, but I don't know how to make it tidier without removing everything from the room which...what's the point in that?
Since I haven't had much time to do the whole 'All your clothes in a pile' thing like the book suggests, I've been sort of going drawer by drawer. I started on my large bureau which is overflowing with clothes and the drawers can't close because of it. One drawer down and the folding method is magical. MAGICAL, I tell you! That drawer was overflowing with clothes no matter what I did and I folded them (and put a couple of things in the donation box) and there's room to spare! I kind of didn't want to stop but I had to because I had work this morning.
But I'm still thinking about this...thought. Is it going to hurt to pare things down? Even if I pare things down and still have a lot of stuff, is that going to be some sort of detriment? There's no way I can pare myself down to the point that I have the 'bare minimum'...I'm a performer and need concert clothes. I like mixing/matching my outfits. I like art and tchotchkies. I like my books. I like my yarn. I also don't want to get rid of things to get rid of them and then go looking for them a month or two from now. For me, it's not about getting rid of the most stuff. What if I just can't find a way to make things tidy?
I also don't want my family to be all 'Now, that wasn't so hard' and 'Now you just have to keep it like this all the time'. To me, that's patronizing and instantly rankles. I've tried talking to them about it, but I'm always in the wrong when it comes to trying to tell them that my feelings might be hurt by their words. I love them dearly, but of anyone, they can hurt me the most by just a few simple words. How can I talk to them about this and tell them that I appreciate their support but I don't want their 'Holier than thou' and 'I told you so' attitude?
Thursday, May 21, 2015
The beginning of the Big Clean
So, maybe it's a bit self-centered, but I decided to blog this particular journey of 'Tidying Up' because maybe it will help serve as a reminder in the future if I need it.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm a Hoarder.
It's a hard thing to admit, especially with all of the negative connotations that popular media has attached to the word. Whenever anyone says that, the mind immediately goes to the television programs that show people living in houses piled from floor to ceiling with garbage, crawling with vermin, and leaving no space unoccupied.
I am not like this.
That said, I have a lot of clutter. I have a LOT of clothes. I have even more yarn. These things are not covering every single surface of my home, but some surfaces are covered more than others. It's an Organized Chaos. I've always been like this - it's just not been a priority for me to have everything put away in its space and have my space look sterile and empty.
My family doesn't get it (although my dad is like this too. He's just been forced by his wife to be neater about things). My mom does this to a point as well - her place always looks clean and tidy but it has all this great stuff in it.
I will say that most of my 'stuff' -is- pretty awesome, although I'm biased. I love art, I love craft, I love comics and fantasy. I -collect- things, but I don't just collect just anything. I collect handmade, soft-sculpture dragons. I collect fun mugs. I started collecting some fun drinking glasses, but I almost have all the ones I want.
It comes down to the fact that I have STUFF and sometimes that gets me in trouble. Like now.
I have this amazing apartment in a 2-family home. It's in a great area that is still T (subway) accessible and is close to almost all of my good friends. This apartment lets me have my two adorable cats.
However, I may be getting kicked out of this apartment because of my 'mess'. Things are up in the air right now but what it comes down to is that the landlady claims my apartment smells (I have assurance from 4 people that it does NOT reek) and that it's just too messy (not that it's any of her business...there is no wording about cleanliness in the lease). She has agreed to give me until August (although she kept on saying April) to clean up the apartment and she will then inspect it and if she deems it acceptable, she will give me a lease for another year.
I've discussed this with lawyers and they think I should just let her come in once a year and inspect and otherwise to Hell with her.
I'm actually kind of torn about this, but that's not what this Blog is about. This blog is about my process for cleaning said apartment. I agree - it should be worked on. I should have done more to work on it when I wasn't working a temp job and had 4 months of nothing-to-do-but-knit-and-watch-SVU-reruns. I did, some, but now I'm in Super Mode.
A friend recommended this book:
I had tried Self-Help books before about cleaning up, but nothing helped. The thing is, I have trouble getting rid of things. I don't mind throwing trash away, but I keep broken shoes or clothes that I no longer wear or toys that I 'collected' because they were good to me. I anthropomorphize items. I don't like Waste (I'm big into recycling/reusing). If I know where something is going (i.e. to a person), then I'm ok with getting rid of it because I know someone else will enjoy it/care for it as I have. But just dumping stuff off at Goodwill or tossing it is hard.
I guess this book addresses that and talks about keeping things that 'Only Spark Joy'. Ok. Apparently, anthropomorphizing is a thing in Japan so it talks about that as well. That seemed promising. It seems to be a method so that one doesn't relapse. Great! I bought the book and started reading it. So far, so good. However, I wasn't going to be able to use the methods that are recommended in the book because I just don't have time! I started my own sort of 'method', following some of her advice and started in on cleaning the kitchen.
It's looking better but isn't quite there yet. But it seems a reachable goal.
I tackled the 'Pantry' yesterday - took a solid hour of work and I still have to go through the closet, but I think it looks fantastic.
It's a start. I'm going to try and document, room by room/category by category and talk about my feelings when it comes to culling my items. Certain things probably won't be gotten-rid of - my art collection, my sentimental items - but I'm going to try and take a closer look at these 'sentimental items' and try to cull more of my clothes/books/music/etc. I've given away a dress already as it was the wrong color for me and I gave away a box of beanies and stuffed animals that had been living in my closet for nearly 9 years. I gave them to a friend so his 3 kids could play with them. I'd rather they be played with than just sit in my closet (I did keep about a dozen or so).
I'm hoping to get this done before the end of July. It's going to be tough since I'm working a 40 hour week and will be rehearsing/performing two shows, but I think I can get it done. It's a long weekend this weekend and I don't have that much planned.
Maybe I won't have to move after all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)