The 'What Ifs'

This was a pretty busy weekend so I didn't get all that much done, but I did clean up a lot of the living room. I got some bins and boxes out of the way and packed up a few more boxes which may or may not get moved into the attic; basically, I had already started to pack before the Landlady and I worked out this potential deal and I'm not going to unpack only to have to re-pack again if she deems the apartment not up to her standards.

That's the fear, really. That I will have put in all this work and the Landlady will say 'Nope, not good enough'. It is, however, nicer than it was when I was looking at the place to initially rent it last year.

I'm re-reading the book again and the more I think about it and the more I see my place 'tidy'-(er), the more I really, really like it. I even think it's liking me back -- as the book says, it sort of feels more welcoming and brighter. There's still further to go, but not much. The guest room is the biggest tackle but it's also, I think, where I'll be getting rid of most of the things. It's not that I don't have a space for them, but a lot of stuff I just don't need. There's yarn that I was pressured into buying or that I won't be using in there, there are cooking utensils that I don't use, etc. There's a bookshelf that I want in the Living Room. Then I may have a way to even make the guest bed and use the sewing machine desk. I might even be able to keep the door open and let the cats hang out in there.

But how sad would it be if the place looks amazing (yet still appropriately lived in) and the Landlady still says 'No'? After I've begun to fall in love with the place all over again? How heart-wrenching would it be? Maybe the apartment will help if it wants me to stay, knowing that I'm going to take good care of it now...but I can't help going to the worst outcome. Maybe it protects me from getting disappointed but I can't help but think about that potential outcome.

I might not have too much time this week with rehearsals and everything -- we're heading into Tech Week for show #1. I'm going to try to at least maintain and do a little more...somewhere and somehow!